The Wheelchair Rose & Crown

Old Jimmy was in a wheelchair

And as he was an inventive man

He had an idea which appealed to him

So he formulated his plan.

He set about in his garage

Converting it into his workshop

In which he created his masterpiece

His creativity did not stop.

Suddenly a van pulled up

Completely out of the blue

Delivering an Oxyacetylene Welding Kit

(And that wasn’t for the Bar-B-Q).

First he fixed the bracket

To support the strengthened base

Then he fitted pipes and tubes

Wherever he could find the space.

Everything was carefully measured

Even the pressure gauge

But nobody knew what Jimmy was building

It was all hush hush at this stage.

All they saw were pipes and tubes

and a cylinder of Co2

Disappearing into his workshop

– That was all they knew.

Jimmy worked away for hours

While his neighbours kept an eye

But they knew that something was up

When a beer lorry stopped by.

For the Draymen unloaded the barrels

And other Brewery parts

Two hours later they staggered out

Completely pissed as farts!!

But old Jimmy was still busy

And he stayed in his workshop all night

No matter how many people were watching

Jimmy remained out of sight.

                                                                  The following morning word went round

That old Jimmy’s work was done

And people had started gathering

Since the rising of the sun.

Suddenly the workshop door opened

And there was a deafening cheer

As old Jimmy appeared driving his wheelchair

While pouring himself a beer!!

For he had a keg of Bitter

Strapped onto the strengthened base

With a Co2 cylinder and cooling unit

Even the glasses had a place.

                                                                     He is now doing three miles per gallon

In his specially adapted wheelchair

And he is probably pissed as a fart

And could turn up anywhere.

                                                                       Nobody knows if it technically legal

And the Authorities may frown

But it’s all cheer and high spirits

On the Wheelchair Rose & Crown.

(I am tempted to try this but the oxyacetylene welding kit may present a few problems, especially from The Health and Safety angle!!)

This poem is featured in my Book of 50 Poems available from me for £7-00 (includes UK POSTAGE in UK)


Our Little Street

They’re building a tunnel

Right under our street

Where the young children play

And the old people meet.

The Railway will run

Right under our feet

As the Great Wheels of Industry turn.

The men from the Shipyards

They work all the day

The welders and platers

To bring home their pay

And feed their families

That is their way

While the Great Wheels of Industry turn.

The long days at Mill

And the Factories of stone

With tall smoking chimneys

Where you work to the bone

And you return to your hearth

Which you’ll never own

As long as the Great Wheels of Industry turn.


                                                             There’s a graveyard at the end

Of our little street

Where beside the old oak tree

There’s an old wooden seat

Where women with tears

Who have lost men will greet

For what the Great Wheels of Industry’s done.

Many Dreams Ago

Oh! How the years pass you by

And before you even know

You think of all the things you dreamt for

Many dreams ago.

The sky begins to darken

And the sun sinks in the west

Your long day is done

And it’s time to take your rest.

But feel the wind fill your sails

As you set out across the sea

Things may have for you

Now, Go onward and be free.

Life is what you make it

Enjoy the winds that blow

But never forget the dreams you had

Many dreams ago.