They called me in for assessment
A medical by Dr. Turk
To see if I was suitable
For any kind of work.

He asked me what kind of work
I thought that I could do,
I said that, “Since I cannot walk
I really don’t have a clue.”

“A wheelchair based pavement tester
Is the job for me
Reporting all those cracks and bumps
That many people do not see.”

But the Atos man just shook his head
And said, “We’ve got plans for you!
You’ll go along to Job Centre Plus
And be at the front of the queue!”

Now I’ve got a job as a taxidermist
I really love that line of work,
For it allows me to do just what I want
And to stuff old Dr. Turk!

They will treat you with contempt
And will show you who is boss
For whether or not you’re fit for work
They couldn’t give Atos !!


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